Chapter 4

**Six Years Later**

*Lily''s POV*

Six years have passed since that terrible night Stephanie died.

I wish I could say life has moved on, that we''ve found some silver lining in all this darkness... but honestly? That would be a lie. Stephanie''s just as much a part of this pack today as she was when she was alive. And the grief here? It''s still as raw and bitter as it was on day one.

If anything''s changed, it''s that instead of Stephanie being front and center in everything, she''s become this shadow hanging over our entire existence. We''ve got Stephanie Lane and Steffie Avenue now—that was her nickname. The local coffee shops have drinks named after her. Hell, you can find her favorite outfits displayed in glass cases all over the pack territory, like some kind of museum.

But here''s the really weird part—they turned the day she died into a pack holiday. Her birthday too. Everyone except the omegas gets both days off from work, school, training, the whole nine yards. There are these solemn ceremonies and remembrance events for each one.

I made the mistake once of asking my parents if this was normal. I mean, we can love her and miss her, but annual ceremonies? Treating her like some kind of saint while conveniently forgetting she was human too? It seemed like overkill to me. As far as I know, the pack''s never done this for any other luna or future luna. Hell, we only honor maybe two or three historical alphas this way.

My reward for asking? Being called jealous and hateful. I also got beaten pretty badly, but honestly, beatings from my mother had become so routine that I can''t say my question actually triggered that particular one. Plus, it hurt way less than the beatings I got before Stephanie died. If it weren''t for the pain and who was doing it, I almost wouldn''t have cared.

You know what the worst part about losing Stephanie six years ago was? It wasn''t actually losing Stephanie. It was how losing her completely destroyed my relationship with my parents and everyone else in this pack.

Before Stephanie died, I knew she was my parents'' favorite. My older brother Nick and I used to joke about it sometimes. But even though she was their golden child, they still treated me well. They loved me. They would never have laid a hand on me back then.

After Stephanie died? My parents could barely stand to look at me. When they did, I could see it clear as day in their eyes—they wished it had been me instead of her who died that night.

They stopped caring about my well-being entirely. I lived in their house until I was seventeen, but I was on my own for everything—meals, clothes, you name it. I had to get a part-time job at this greasy diner just to survive. Technically, I could''ve eaten at the packhouse, but the dirty looks and nasty comments from my parents, James, and pretty much everyone else made that impossible.

Oh, and just in case you''re wondering—I haven''t celebrated a single birthday since Stephanie died. Not one person except Rose has bothered to say happy birthday to me. No one even asked if I''d gotten my wolf. It''s not like birthdays stopped being important around here; it''s just that mine apparently doesn''t matter anymore.

I''ve been to plenty of other people''s birthday parties. The pack throws these huge celebrations for everyone''s fourteenth birthday. Actually, it was at one of those parties that someone finally wondered out loud whether I had a wolf. Fair question, considering I was over fourteen and had never joined a pack run. Rose told me early on to skip them "for safety reasons," and I was more than happy to avoid them.

If anyone had bothered to ask me directly about my wolf or why I was skipping the runs, I would''ve told them the truth. But no one ever did. Instead, rumors started spreading that I was wolfless. People figured I lost my wolf from trauma over losing Stephanie, or from guilt over what I''d supposedly done to her.

That second theory really pissed me off, because I knew exactly where it came from—James. Right after Stephanie''s funeral, he told my parents and half the pack that Stephanie was only in the forest that night to save me. He said I''d gone out there to meet some boy. I have no idea why he''d say that. I''ve never had a boyfriend, and Stephanie was the one who asked me to meet her in the woods.

That rumor was why my mother beat the hell out of me the night of my first shift. It''s probably also why pack members feel perfectly comfortable telling me they wish I was dead.

But I''ve never defended myself. Telling the truth would mean speaking badly of both Stephanie and our future alpha... and that would probably be a death sentence.

So I''ve just kept my head down and pushed through. I''ve survived by holding onto the hope that someday things will be different. I''ve also taken every opportunity I can get to leave this place.

I rushed through high school so I could graduate early, then went away to college. To avoid coming home, I''ve been loading up on credit hours and taking every semester they offer—even those mini winter sessions. I''m also in this special accelerated program for werewolf doctors. If everything goes according to plan, I should be fully licensed in just a couple more years.

Until I''m licensed and independent, I''m stuck bearing the shadow of my sister and all the pain that comes with it. I''m required to be here for both of her holidays—every pack member is, no exceptions—but thankfully, those are about the only times you''ll find me at Western Mountain Pack these days.

My ultimate goal? Meet my mate and become a pack doctor in his territory. And I''m praying to the Moon Goddess it''s not this pack. If—Goddess forbid—my mate is here, maybe I can convince him to transfer somewhere else with me.

Please, Goddess, let that be the case.

Tomorrow''s my birthday. I guess we''ll find out then.